glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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