I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
