There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
