I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
