We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
