The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will be naked everywhere
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
