Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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