True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
