If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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