That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
