i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i may or may not be watching the land before time
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
