You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
