Someone shit on the floor
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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