SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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