how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
