She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize