I don't think brook has ever known best
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
