I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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