Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
