She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We left an ass print on the piano.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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