I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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