We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
being pregnant is like rehab
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
