as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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