I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
