I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
