Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
