so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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