just tell him i said nine months
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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