I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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