i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
