My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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