I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize