My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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