You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
