im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This is my gift to your gina
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize