I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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