We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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