seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
