Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
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I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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