Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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