I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am in a vortex of obligation.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize