your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
