yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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