Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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