Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
