I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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