Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
