We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
youre lurking in front of me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
