can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
