wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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