You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
