How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
