I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Still dying that you shit outside
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
