Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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