Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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