ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize