That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
